Playoffs? We're talking about Playoffs??

Just checking in to see when the playoffs start. My team is limping towards the finish line and i'm crossing my fingers that my team can "sneak" into the playoffs despite losing five of my last six... argh... talk about a crash and burn season!

I think we should have started playoffs in week 8 when I was 6-1 :)

I'm A Romosexual

Be careful teams...... Joseph Addai may have just snuck me into the playoffs, but as long as my qb throws 5 tds every week.....

umm wait. I wouldn't worry about me.

Good luck in the Playoffs.

I can't stop the bleeding...

After a great start to the season (6-1) the wheels have come off and I don't think I'll even qualify for the playoffs. Has there even been a bigger chocke job than this in fantasy football? WOW!

The icing on the cake was McNabb blowing out his ACL yesterday and leaving me with David Carr as my starter.

Guess I should just stick to basketball...

once again

I silence the critics with another win. This time against a man, in Michael Prada, who said that the Ed Hochuli Express and the Karma gods had been angered by my large amount of trash-talk over the last few weeks.

I'm sorry to say it but, if that's all the Karma gods have got to dish out, I think I'm on my way.

A 71 point defeat against one of the better teams in your fantasy football league isn't something you come across every day. But, thanks to my typical 39 from Tomlinson and Willie Parker's domination, I win once again.

To all the haters (ehhhem, Ron and Prada), Ladanian will not get benched in Week 16 because I highly doubt that they will have home field advantage wrapped up by then and they won't want to have Tomlinson rusty for the first round of the playoffs.

I agree with Prada however. I know I can't rely on a freak performance from someone like Javon or Torry Holt every week but it seems to happen nonetheless. Someone new steps up to have a huge week every week (like Willy Parker last week, Javon the week before, and Torry Holt in my 170 point destruction)

I honestly think that my luck is the main reason for my 8-game winning streak. It's just a series of events that has given me this team and luck is on my side. So, I'm gonna do what anyone in this league would do with a winning streak like I have: I'm gonna brag about it and talk as much trash as possible until I lose it.

Good luck to all next week except, however, Canada Man. I'd like to keep my winning streak intact and I don't want you getting in the way

and, by the way, last place is equal to 4th place. There is me at 8-2, Ron at 6-4, a whole bunch of teams at 5-5, and a whole bunch more at 3-7. Just thought I'd throw that in there

The End
-Hooded Houdini man

UBFFL Podcast - Week 10

The First Annual Mid season Fannys!!!!

Its midseason, and it is time for the contenders to emerge and the pretenders to disappear. Now is the time when last year becomes last year, and this year becomes a reality. The fact is ITS TIME FOR THE FANNY'S!!!

The Priest Holmes Award



This award recognizes the best and most costly injuries in fantasy football. Long live Priest Holmes.

And the nominees are:

Shaun Alexander-Selected: Round 1 Pick 1
Larry Fitzgerald-Selected: Round 2 Pick 18
Santana Moss-Selected Round 3 Pick 36
Steve Smith-Selected Round 2 Pick 2

And the winner is.....

Shaun Alexander. 200 Yards and 2 TDs is not what owners expected at the halfway point in the season. Obvious choice.



The Deuce McAllister Award

This award recognizes the best sleepers drafted this year.

And the nominees are:

Frank Gore-Selected: Round 4 Pick 40
Andre Johnson-Selected: Round 5 Pick 56
Ahman Green-Selected: Round 6 Pick 68
Drew Brees-Selected Round 7 Pick 81

And the winner is.....

Drew Brees. This season Brees has 2200 yards and 14 TDs on the Saints. The Saints are supposed to be a running team and Brees is on pace for over 4000 yards and 28 TDs. The 7th round is incredible for this kind of production.


The Pamela Anderson Award

This award recognizes the biggests BUSTS this year (ignoring injured players):

And the nominees are:

Cadillac Williams-Selected Round 2 Pick 13
LaMont Jordan-Selected Round 2 Pick 16
Reggie Bush-Selected Round 2 Pick 19
Jamal Lewis-Selected Round 5 Pick 50

And the winner is....

Cadillac Williams. With only 560 total yards and 1 TD at the halfway point, Cadillac is the easy choice. Most people had him as a mid first rounder, but he lasted until the 13th pick. This is a terrible season for a guy who had 450 yards in his first 3 games, and right now after 8 games has only 450 rushing yards.


I hope you all enjoyed this years mid season edition of the fannys. I would like to congratulate all the nominees and the award winners. Maybe next year Pamella Anderson can make an appearance to give out her award. Good luck to all players in the last 8 weeks.

Week 9 Recap

I'm back in my regular spot to give you guys a recap of the action that was in the UBFFL. Let's get right into it.

Randy Moss Fruit Juicers (6-3) 107, Chris Berman's Concubine (3-6) 49

Wow, the Steve Spurrier Division rocks, and the Butch Davis Division sucks (woo hoo!). Ron rolled all over Alex today with the easy win. So far, it's become clear that Drew Brees was the pick of the draft, as he contributed another huge 30 point performance to lead Ron's team. The Denver defense pitched in with 20, and Ron had three others in double figures. Things could have been even better had Ron not benched Ronnie Brown (18 points) and Mike Vanderjagt (14). Alex can look at Tom Brady's 1 point, 4 INT performance to realize that using a first-round pick on him was the wrong thing to do.

Hooded Houdinis (7-2) 151, The Tuck Rule (2-7) 73

Ryan has harped on this many times, but there's no doubt that his team is on a roll. With 151 points, Ryan nearly equalled his insane performance from a couple weeks ago. LaDainian Tomlinson had his customary huge game with 37 points, but who could see Javon Walker's 38 points coming? That total was easily the highest total from a wide receiver this season. Willie Parker had another solid game with 25 points, and Marc Bulger chipped in 19. Had the Bears defense performed, it may have been ever worse. Ian got 25 from Steven Jackson, but for god's sake, check your team! Don't leave 2 guys in with bye weeks!

As a quick reminder to Ryan, let me mention the obvious fact that fantasy championships are not won in Week 9. This run had been fantastic, but what happens once San Diego rests Tomlinson and you don't get those freak 30 point performances from your receivers? Don't hand yourself the title just yet. There are plenty of juggernauts that can knock you off.

Twins15 Destroyers (5-4) 70, You're With Me, Leather! (6-3) 49

Looking at a stretch of Hochuli and Leather only two weeks ago, Twins15 has found a way to emerge stronger than ever. After catching me on a horrendous day in Week 8, the same happened again with Ryan M.'s team. Jake Plummer's insane 27 points were enough to lead Twins15 to the win against a suddenly mediocre You're With Me, Leather! It was so bad that Twins15 mistakenly left in the Pittsburgh defense against his starting quarterback (a cardinal no-no in fantasy) and still won pretty easily. Without Donovan McNabb, Ryan M's team is in trouble, and if we needed any proof that McNabb was his whole team, the last two weeks have shown it. Consecutive losses to Alex and Twins15 have put this team on thin ice.

0-49ers (5-4) 71, WBRS Sports Blog (2-6) 49

Don't look now, but Zach's 0-49ers are now over .500 at 5-4 (but still in last place). This week, Zach was helped by some managing negligence on Adam's part. Adam obviously had a busy week, having benched Bruce Gradkowski and Kevin Jones while starting Matt Leinart, Courtney Anderson, and Noah Herrion (the former two were on byes). Insert Gradkowski for Leinart and Jones for Herrion, and Adam wins easily. Alas, he didn't, and Zach walked away with a fortunate victory.

Ed Hochuli Express (5-4) 97, Clippers (4-5) 90

Huge, huge win for me! I needed this badly after fucking up a win over Ron, falling just short of Ryan M, and then laying an egg against Twins15. Eli Manning continued to suck after the trade I made with Brian, but Tiki Barber stepped up with 21 points and a TD (finally!), and Roy Williams led a balanced support with 19. Tim somehow mananged to have the top two scorers in the matchup (Larry Johnson with 23 and the Jaguars with 21) and lose anyway. I had a big lead coming into Monday night and held on after Seneca Wallace made things interesting. With my balanced attack and an easy division, I am guaranteeing a berth in the playoffs. Tim will be back, but he's had some hard luck the past few weeks and is now two games back of Ryan M and a playoff spot.

Pissing Excellence (5-4) 77, Mary Kate and Ashley Olson (4-5) 67

Snooze snooze, nothing to see here. Apparently, Brian's team really is a fraud, as he's now dropped 3 in a row, with no matchup being close. Once again, managing neglicence killed Brian, as Marques Colston would have given him the win if he was in instead of Plaxico Burress. Also, after trading away Eli Manning and seeing Byron Leftwich get benched, it's clear the trade he made with me has been a collosal failure. Also, how is Jason's team 5-4? Is this not the biggest fluke of the league right now?

Playoff Picture

Here what this looks like at the moment. 1 plays 4, 2 plays 3
1. Hooded Houdinis (Spurrier Division champion): 7-2
2. You're With Me, Leather (Erickson Division champion): 6-3
3. Randy Moss Fruit Juicers (Wild Card): 6-3
4. Ed Hochuli Express (Davis Division champion): 5-4
5. 0-49ers: 5-4, one game back, two back of Houdinis
6. Twins15 Destroyers: 5-4, one game back, two back of Houdinis
7. Pissing Excellence: 5-4, one game back, one back of Leather
8. Clippers: 4-5, two games back, two back of Leather
9. Mary Kate and Ashley Lelie: 4-5, two games back, one back of Hochuli
10. Chris Berman's Concubine: 3-6, three games back, two back of Hochuli
11. The Tuck Rule: 2-7, four games back, four back of Leather!
12. WBRS Sports Blog: 2-7, four games back, three back of Hochuli

Let's look ahead to next week, shall we!

• Randy Moss Fruit Juicers (6-3) vs. Pissing Excellence (5-4)

The line (based on best possible scores): Ron by two
The pick: Ron 102, Jason 75. Drew Brees has a field day on the woeful Pittsburgh defense, Ron's running backs go wild, and the Broncos defense scores 25 on the Raiders offense.

• Clippers (4-5) vs. 0-49ers (5-4)
  

The line: Zach by 1
The pick: Tim 95, Zach 91. Seneca Wallace won't get 5 points, and Steve Smith will have a big game to lead Tim despite a huge performance from Peyton Manning.

• You're With Me, Leather (6-3) vs. WBRS Sports Blog (2-6)

The line: Ryan M by 13
The Pick: Ryan M 85, Adam 52. Nothing like seeing WBRS Sports Blog on the schedule to stop the bleeding. If Adam makes changes to the lineup, it will be closer, but I doubt Ryan M loses here.

• Chris Berman's Concubine (3-6) vs. The Tuck Rule (2-7)

The line: Ian by 4
The Pick: Alex 74, Ian 69. Ian's team is cursed, and not switching in players makes it worse. Tom Brady bounces back and Alex finds a way to win.

• Twins15 Destroyers (5-4) vs. Mary Kate and Ashley Olson (4-5)

The line: Brian by 9
The Pick: Twins15 72, Brian 58. Brett Favre can't be your starting quarterback, and Brian will screw this up somehow. No way I'm picking two teams from the Davis division to win...

And finally, the Game of the Week

• Hooded Houdinis (7-2) vs. Ed Hochuli Express (5-4)
  

The line: Ryan by 20
The Pick: Prada 113, Ryan 108. Nothing like a little home team optimism, but Eli will have a good game against the Giants and Roy Williams has another big game. The Giants defense forces a ton of turnovers on Chicago and Clinton Portis will return from the dead to give me the upset.

Good luck to everyone, except Ryan of course. I wouldn't wish you luck anyway with your punkish 16 year old attitude, but I especially want you to lose this week. Your insistence on guaranteeing yourself the UBFFL championship in Week 9 angered the Ed Hochuli Expres and the Karma Gods, and this will be the first week of your slow demise.